Would it beautiful..?

Today, I learn something that I should do from the start that I join the MMU..

I don't study so much, I fail so many test, quiz and lab test..
Mid term is this week, since I just take 2 subject to waste in this 4 month or 1 sem..
Kindda killing me that I'm so lazy enough to study and try to search for note or others..
Anyway, I don't know why I feel so down lately..Every time I try to cheer up myself .
Yet, it just getting worst..I become lost and don't know what I after..

On every dream, everything that I do just an average on what I capable of..
I know I can do better than that.. I believe I can..

But, I just to lazy enough..Stupid enough..

Wasted all the time that I have..

But, I hope after this trip that I think I would make it perfect as it could..
To bring my family on the vacation to Sunway Lagoon and treat them on a dinner at KL..
Going to Danau or Times Square to shopping..I hope it can make me even prepare for everything..

Foremost, I bring "her"..
If she don't have any plan on that day..
My family okay with her joining in the trip..
It just only her to make the decision..

I care for someone because she care for me, love me enough because of me, understand me enough to make me cry, and most of all, u will never leave me no matter what happen, what the situation it's..she will understand and ask for the explaination..

Not to jump into her's own assumption..

That what makes me love her so much..as much that I hate to say that I hurt u so much..
U just smile and said u feel nothing..But I know, deep in ur heart, u don't want me feel pity or sorry for what happened..U just want me to love U from my heart..Not from anything that I got or any problems that I had..

I used to cry infront of u once..
I cried ever since the last time..
I cry every night sometimes thinking of u..

That was the first time I cry infront of a girl that I really care enough..
Until  now, I don't know wether I good enough for u..
Because u r so beautiful from any angle I can see..

My mom used to say that, if I found the right one..
The one who will love u no matter what..who would die for u..
Who thinking of everyday without complaining..
Take care of her as what she did for u..
Because, to found someone that really love someone is a lots..
But, to find someone who love someone, will face anything with u, share u pain and shameful with u are rare..

This is a song about me..
Just if U can hear it..

U will know why I'm so afraid...